For 30 years I kept a secret that almost killed me. That same secret was kept by many other little boys. We were all victimized by the same man, yet none of us knew it was happening to the other. Those secrets caused pain, shame, guilt. And it cost one of us his life.

It's fair to say that if society as a whole is pretty clueless about rape and sexual assault, men and boys are trebly so. Hardly any deal with how to avoid becoming a victim of it—and none at all on what to do, or how to feel, if one actually does.

Michael Reagan and Jerome Elam, both survivors of childhood sexual abuse, write about the unique dynamics and devastating stigmas.